Want to Become a TV Star ?

Want to become a TV Star?

Super hit Television requires the following staff for their various language channels at their studios located at different parts of the country

Anchors
Laughers/Clappers
Weepers

Job Profile:

Anchors

A They should have proficiency in any of the following languages

Hinglish
Manglish (Malayalam)
Tanglish (Tamil)
Kanglish (Kannada)
Banglish (Bengali)
Punglish (Punjabi)

B They should have bad pronunciation
C They need not have expertise of the subject of programme they are anchoring
D They should eat half of the word so that audience will guess what they are speaking

Laughers/Clappers

A Their duty is to laugh/clap during the shooting of the shows
B Even if the programme is boring (without using boring machine) they should laugh/clap
C They should be prepared to take laughter pills as prescribed by the channel
Compounder.

Weepers

A They should weep profusely during elimination round of reality shows(Even if the contestant don’t weep)
B Since their work is irregular; in order to maintain regular work they will be required to do the work of (S) weepers also
Note: This will enhance their capacity for their primary job.
C They should be prepared to use glycerine/ take weeping pills as prescribed by the channel Compounder.

Age Limit 18-80 years

Qualification For all the posts. MBA (with specialisation in the respective disciplines) from any unrecognised Indian University or recognised Underworld University
Experience Not essential but desirable. Thick skinned people who have worked with politicians or political parties will be given preference

Qualification and experience are relaxable in case of candidates otherwise suitable

Note: Candidates having exceptional copying skills will be considered for multi channels.

Remuneration Package:

1 Free boarding and Lodging at the campus
2 Out of pocket allowance Rs 101/= per day*
3 Free Uniform. (In order to improve transparency in our activities, transparent
Clothes will be given for uniform)
* This is in lieu of Basic pay, DA, DP, HRA and other allowances

Non Taxable Perks

1 Free transport from studio to place of stay after 10.0 PM
2 Unlimited phone calls within the campus
3 Full reimbursement of food charges during outstation duties subject to a maximum of Rs 100/=
4 Uniform maintenance: Surf 1kg, Soap 800 Grams, Shoe Polish 100 gm
5 200 channel TV at residence
6 Regularisation of attendance upto 30 minutes twice a month for late coming and early going
7 Picnic: Once in a month during non working hours (10 PM to 8 AM) Employees along with family will be taken for picnic/sight seeing within the
City. Eg; India Gate, Red Fort, Lodhi Garden etc
8 If the employee dies while in service, it will be shown in that day’s news

This is a diamond opportunity for people who want instant publicity. An opportunity to change from UIP (Unimportant personality) or TCP (Third class personality) to WCP (World class personality)

Here is a golden opportunity of being watched by Politicians, bureaucrats, film stars, dacoits, drunkards, black marketers etc across the globe

Temptation: TV Stars are more popular than Scientists, Engineers, Doctors, Chartered Accountants, Writers, Readers, Professors, advocates, judges, journalists, civil servants, cartoonists, artists, dancers, politicians, all walas like chaiwala, Aaloowala, narielwala, telwala etc